My sister Carolyn

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hybrid
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My sister Carolyn

#1

Post: # 16235Unread post hybrid
Sun Apr 05, 2020 7:46 pm

After watching the amazing tribute to Carolyn it is time for me to maybe answer a few lingering questions. She was not doing all that well for a few years before she passed. I am about 850 mi from where Carolyn lived, but I could tell from her posts on t 'ville that all was not right. Very seldom would she answer many questions but would just google a link. The local visiting nurse and her Dr. wanted her to go to the hospital and have a complete workup. Every time she would refuse. The lady who spent a lot of time helping her out would at times call me with her concerns that Carolyn was not herself. She started to see things that were not there and then began not to take her medications and she went downhill real fast. The EMT's were called again and she refused to go with them. The next time they were called she was in no shape to argue with them and they took her to the hospital. I had posted that on T ville and many asked if I would keep them updated. I explained that because Carolyn had not signed a hipaa release no medical personnell could tell me anything. Yet many kept wanting to know her condition and especially the owner who said they all had a right to know her condition. Now it got nasty. The only thing I knew at that time was the condition they found her in and it was not pretty. I posted it and said to the owner now are you happy and I was instantly banned. That is why no one could see any follow up from me. Because I was her healthcare proxy when it became clear she would not be coming home they were able to keep me aware as to what was going on.

I then had to spend quite a bit of time cleaning up her home and it was not easy. The room where she did all her tomato work was quite a mess. There was no sense if order and seeds everywhere. They were in drawers/cupboards/on tables/behind a tv/ in a file cabinet and even in her piano bench. I gathered as many as I could and brought them home. I found no record keeping of any kind of who she might have sent seed to or who maybe sent her seeds. My Wife Ann spent almost five months trying to sort and put them in alphabetical order. They were in different types of containers which also made it more difficult. We estimated there are abut 1000 different varieties.

Ok now this is where we are at. We do not have the time or energy to do anything more with the seeds. I have been given some ideas as to what to do with them ,but did not like what I was told. The thought was to send them to maybe some well known seed dealers and let them offer them. The problem I have with that is that I know Carolyn would not wish to see those seeds put up for sale. She always offered them for just the postage to ship them. We would like to find someone who has the skill and time to make a spread sheet or list of some type and then be able to send them to interested growers the same as Carolyn would have done. If you have any questions I will try and answer them the best as I can. Like so many we are dong our best to stay at home for now. Dave

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DMF
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#2

Post: # 16242Unread post DMF
Sun Apr 05, 2020 8:37 pm

Thank you for the update. The decline was apparent and we feared the worst. A few of Carolyn's stories gave us a glimpse of a fiercely independent woman who lived as she wanted to live. Unfortunately I am not in a position to help with her collection. I do hope someone here will be able.

Bless you and Ann for preserving what she cared about. You do her honor.
Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers

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AZGardener
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#3

Post: # 16260Unread post AZGardener
Mon Apr 06, 2020 12:34 am

Thank you for the update Dave. I didn't get to know Carolyn but I have read some of her posts on the other site, and have her book.
She was so knowledgeable and willing to share that knowledge with others.
I'm sorry for your loss and understand it's not easy to help a loved one when you live far away.
She is very much missed in the tomato community.
USDA Zone 9b, Sunset Zone 13
Average Rainfall 9.5 inches
Climate: Sonoran Desert

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AlittleSalt
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#4

Post: # 16262Unread post AlittleSalt
Mon Apr 06, 2020 1:12 am

I am sorry for your loss. I saw your post before the owner of that place did. You wrote things that were point blank. The owner of that sight is in love with himself, and felt the need to ban you. That was wrong. However, some of what you wrote did upset people who otherwise knew what you wrote was the truth.
Texas Zone 8A

hybrid
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#5

Post: # 16280Unread post hybrid
Mon Apr 06, 2020 7:30 am

I lived not far from Carolyn for over thirty years and that is the reason when she retired she moved to the area. As I said it was very frustrating to have people demanding of me to know about Carolyn's condition when I did not know myself. What I posted was more than harsh but it was all I knew from the EMT's who were friends of mine.

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brownrexx
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#6

Post: # 16282Unread post brownrexx
Mon Apr 06, 2020 7:43 am

What you wrote was difficult to read but I am sure that you posted out of frustration The passing of a family member is difficult in the best of times but more so with many people looking over your shoulder especially is one of them is very aggressive and demanding.

I am sure that you did your best in a bad situation. The fact that you saved the seeds that Carolyn cared so much about shows how you cared for her. Sorry for your loss.

FarmerShawn
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#7

Post: # 16287Unread post FarmerShawn
Mon Apr 06, 2020 8:17 am

hybrid, I just sent you private message regarding the seeds.
Like all of us, I am truly sorry for your loss.
Shawn

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bower
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#8

Post: # 16293Unread post bower
Mon Apr 06, 2020 9:06 am

Very sad for the stress and difficult times you've had, including the conflict at TV. I can only imagine the devotion required to sort those seeds, and a fine act of love to honor our dear friend and mentor Carolyn. She will never be forgotten by any of us who knew her.
And we won't forget you either, Dave. Really a good brother to her. We appreciated so much that you kept us aware of her condition during several earlier health crises when she was unable to post. It was crazy for anyone to pressure you for information when you'd clearly said you didn't have it at that time. In the end, we're really fortunate that further events caused TJ to start up, and that it became a chance to regroup with you as well as others we had lost from TV who are dear and respected friends as well.
Thank you so much, for everything you've done. However the seeds are distributed, I know you'll see them grown and pictured here.
Stay well and safe!
AgCan Zone 5a/USDA zone 4
temperate marine climate
yearly precip 61 inches/1550 mm

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Nan6b
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#9

Post: # 16301Unread post Nan6b
Mon Apr 06, 2020 9:31 am

Thank you SO much for writing this. I'm sorry for your loss. And thank you SO much for saving her seeds. There are people here who can help with them. It could be part of the Carolyn tribute. HL2601 is in charge of the Carolyn tribute project, I think. Another one who comes to mind is Tormato, who runs the yearly seed swap. He is not posting right now because he has no computer. He went to the library to log on to TJ and the libraries are now closed. When he is able to post again, I bet he can help. It could be a part of the MMMM swap.

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pondgardener
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#10

Post: # 16306Unread post pondgardener
Mon Apr 06, 2020 9:47 am

[mention]hybrid[/mention], take your time sorting out what remains of Carolyn's legacy. There are quite a few people out there who are more interested in furthering their own interest and not what Carolyn would approve of. Hopefully an appropriate solution can be found...
It's not what you gather, but what you scatter, that tells what kind of life you have lived.

kath
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#11

Post: # 16360Unread post kath
Mon Apr 06, 2020 6:43 pm

Thank you for posting this here, Dave, and for the work that you and Ann have done to save Carolyn's prized seeds. Please accept my condolences, as well, and I'm so sorry that your kind attempts to keep those at T'ville in the loop resulted in more pain for you.
Carolyn had some trusted friends who helped her grow and distribute seeds through the years and hopefully one of them will be up for the job of trying to grow out and distribute seeds from her collection, in a way that would be pleasing to her.
Wishing you the best and hoping that you will stick around and post from time to time.

Kath

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Re: My sister Carolyn

#12

Post: # 16372Unread post Texgal
Mon Apr 06, 2020 7:46 pm

Dave, so sorry for your loss and the negative behavior you got from others. I did not ever have any interaction with Carolyn, but I can tell from others that she was a treasured friend and expert to those she helped. For her seeds, my first thought was perhaps Seed Savers Exchange would be a good trustee for them. I'm sure it will still require some help to organize and catalog and I know there are folks in this group that can and want to make that happen. Please know you are not alone and keep us in the loop on happenings so we can pitch in and help where needed as others here have suggested. God bless you and your wife as you work through this.
~Emmie~
~ Emmie ~

hybrid
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#13

Post: # 16414Unread post hybrid
Tue Apr 07, 2020 7:42 am

I think Seed Savers Exchange charges for the seeds they offer. I know my sister would never feel correct to have the seeds she saved be offered for sale. I realize at this time most are busy with their own projects and I would think what I am looking for would be for someone to do next fall and winter. dave

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Labradors
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#14

Post: # 16416Unread post Labradors
Tue Apr 07, 2020 7:56 am

Thanks Dave for keeping us informed on TV, even though you received lots of flack for doing so. I'm so sorry for how things turned out there, but so glad that TJ is here now, and we have a great place to discuss things.

It was wonderful that you saved the seeds, and went to so much trouble going through and cataloguing them - a mammoth task by the sound of it! Let's hope that someone trustworthy will take over the awesome task of distributing them to those who will grow and appreciate them. A true tribute to your wonderful sister.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Linda

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Re: My sister Carolyn

#15

Post: # 16430Unread post MissS
Tue Apr 07, 2020 9:14 am

hybrid wrote: Tue Apr 07, 2020 7:42 am I think Seed Savers Exchange charges for the seeds they offer. I know my sister would never feel correct to have the seeds she saved be offered for sale. I realize at this time most are busy with their own projects and I would think what I am looking for would be for someone to do next fall and winter. dave
hybrid I have sent you a pm with a few suggestions of people to help you.
~ Patti ~
AKA ~ Hooper

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Re: My sister Carolyn

#16

Post: # 16431Unread post Dicthamus
Tue Apr 07, 2020 9:15 am

>> I think Seed Savers Exchange charges for the seeds they offer.

I'll say! Not only that, but SSE (specifically Bill Musser) was heavily soliciting Carolyn, trying to get her to donate her collection to SSE. She eventually told 'em to go pound sand. Knowing her, that may be pretty close to what she actually said!

FarmerShawn
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#17

Post: # 16434Unread post FarmerShawn
Tue Apr 07, 2020 9:22 am

Hybrid, aka Dave:
Aargh! Another carefully crafted and cleverly worded missive disappears into the ether. I have no idea where my PM to you went. It’s just gone. So I am re-responding to you here, publicly, so I can see if it actually appears. There’s really nothing secret I need to say here anyway.
As many of us have stated, first I want to say how sorry I am for your, and all of our, loss. Carolyn meant so much to so many of us.
Regarding her seed collection: I have a humble suggestion. A few years ago, when I saw that Carolyn was having increasing difficulty getting her annual seed offer up and running, and getting the seeds out to participants, I offered to give her assistance, since I am a retired school teacher with a mild tomato obsession and not that much to do in January. Our arrangement was that she would continue to collect rare and unknown varieties of tomatoes from around the world, as she had been doing, and I would, when she made her offer, pack up and ship out the seeds. I was already one of her small stable of trusted growers she would send seeds to for growout and seed saving; all that would need to change was that her growers would send me the saved seeds rather than send them to her for distribution to the offer participants. We had some bumps along the way, what with her varying and changing health situations, but we did manage to get quite a few seeds out to deserving and interested folks. This last couple of times, she had the seeds she collected sent directly to me for distribution to her growers, as well as having me have more input into the actual offer. But from my perspective it was still all her project. And we made it work when and as often as we could.
I am sure you are aware that after her passing I made a “final” offering of seeds in her memory, including some seeds from as far back as 2015 from previous offers, and a fair number of ones that I grew out over the last couple of years for her offer. Lots of folks participated, and I hope there are lots of these varieties being grown right now. Some of mine are just germinating.
When I saw that you were struggling to figure out what to do with Carolyn’s seed collection (accumulation?), I though I’d put forth my idea. If you send them to me, I will simply continue to make her annual seed offer with ones I manage to get to grow and save fresh seed from. I am currently a small market gardener with, as previously stated, a mild obsession with tomatoes, due in large part to Carolyn’s influence. I currently grow about 350 varieties annually, and I could easily grow out each year a good number of varieties from her collection for seed saving and continued offering. I have zero interest in selling seeds – I am comfortably, if not elegantly, retired, as I said, and I market garden mainly to pay for my tomato-growing obsession. And it’s better than sitting around or drinking.
Anyway.
If this idea interests you at all, try the PM thing to let me know, or to ask additional questions, and I’ll send along my address. I live in Northeastern Vermont, and seed starting is still over a week away for my outdoor plants (greenhouse ones are just now germinating), so if the seeds arrive here in time, I could start some for this year, or if not, next year. Or, if you decide on another destination for the seeds, that’s OK too. I understand completely. I just thought I’d toss this option out there.
All the best,
Shawn Conant (aka FarmerShawn)

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HL2601
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#18

Post: # 16443Unread post HL2601
Tue Apr 07, 2020 9:59 am

Hybrid, I am so glad you have posted your update. So many of us care about your sister and all the events that have come to pass. I am also glad to hear you describe her tribute with positivity. Folks here are good folks and the participation level in Carolyn's tribute thus far is proof. We only have 16 varieties left to grow out!

I am organizing the tribute and would be happy to add/include/do /arrange anything more you might like to see done with it if you have any ideas. Please feel free to PM me.

Farmer Shawn has done a terrific job sending out Carolyn's offer and several varieties in the tribute do come from his last winter effort. I know you will make the best decisions but between Farmer Shawn and Tormato there are at least two selfless candidates (and probably more here I don't immediately know) who are knowledgeable and understand Carolyn's desires with her seeds.

A huge thanks to you and your wife for categorizing the seeds because they are a true legacy. It had to have been an immense task. One question- I know you said you didn't find record keeping as you were cleaning things out. Carolyn did speak about "her notebooks". You guys didn't see anything like that? I am sure, given the state of her tomato room, they may not have been very accessible. They may not have even been in the tomato room just given what you have told us about the house and Carolyn.

Best wishes to you and your wife and again, I am sorry for your loss.
Heide
Last edited by HL2601 on Tue Apr 07, 2020 10:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

hybrid
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#19

Post: # 16610Unread post hybrid
Thu Apr 09, 2020 7:55 am

I spent about a day and a half just going thru what I call her tomato room. What surprised me the most was no records of any kind. It was possible that she might have entered her notes on her computer. Her dish which is where her computer receives its signal was hit by lightning and the computer was fried. A few seed packets had names on them from who she received them from but nothing else. Still thinking about the best placement. thanks all dave

verboten82
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Re: My sister Carolyn

#20

Post: # 16635Unread post verboten82
Thu Apr 09, 2020 10:07 am

Thank you for saving her seeds Hybrid.

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