The Gotch

This is too much.

A man is passing a house when he sees, “Talking dog for sale – $10.” Well he obviously doesn’t believe the dog can talk, but he decides to check it out. He knocks on the door, and the owner tells him to go around back to see the dog.

The man goes around back and seeing the dog on the lawn, says, “So you’re a talking dog, eh?”

“Indeed I am,” responds the dog, much to the man’s surprise. “You might recognize me from NPR where I have several podcasts. Radio is an easier place to make a living as a talking dog.”

“Hold on,” the man says, “You’re a talking dog who makes media for NPR?”

“Not only that,” says the dog, “I do all my own research. In fact, some of the research for my science podcasts has been used in the books of Stephen Hawking. He thanked me personally for my contributions to science.”

“You knew Stephen Hawking?”

“Sure! Obama introduced us when I was working in the White House!”

The man is astounded and goes inside to talk to the owner. “Why are you selling this incredible dog for only $10?”

The owner replies, “Because he’s a goddamn liar.”

The Gotch

@Homegrwoninillinois; while shoveling yesterday, a well-covered up (it's single digits) woman started talking to me from a distance. With no idea who it was, I asked; she pulled back her parka...to reveal it was my nextdoor neighbor.

The Gotch

A man walks into a bar. He tells the bartender he doesn’t have any money, but asks if he can get a drink for free if he can show the bartender something he has never seen before; the bartender says "Sure."

The man pulls out a small piano, a hamster, and a frog. The hamster begins to play the piano and the frog begins to sing. The bartender says “That's amazing; would you sell them?"

The man replied: "I'll sell you the frog for $100, but I can’t part with the hamster."

The bartender hands over the $100, then asks “Why won’t you sell the hamster?”

The man replies, “Where will I ever find another hamster who can play the piano and is also a ventriloquist?”

The Gotch

Cornelius_Gotchberg wrote: ↑Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:57 am @Homegrwoninillinois; while shoveling yesterday, and a well-covered up (it's single digits) woman started talking to me from a distance. With no idea who it was, I asked; she pulled back her parka...to reveal it was my nextdoor neighbor.

The Gotch

I know you are just a short distance above me. We thankfully only have about a half an inch of snow on the ground currently. The cold today is just brutal, I hope you get to stay inside. I am currently dressed indoors about the same as the women in the cartoon. Why do we live where the wind hurts our face? I am ready for warm weather!

~Sam

Cornelius_Gotchberg wrote: ↑Wed Jan 15, 2025 8:57 am @Homegrwoninillinois; while shoveling yesterday, and a well-covered up (it's single digits) woman started talking to me from a distance. With no idea who it was, I asked; she pulled back her parka...to reveal it was my nextdoor neighbor.

The Gotch

Security cam with AI detection has identified several people in parkas here, as a "pet".

The Gotch

The no allowed sign really hits home.

no skate boarding dogs that are drinking and smoking?

how many can there be?


keith

rxkeith wrote: ↑Mon Jan 20, 2025 12:40 pm no skate boarding dogs that are drinking and smoking?

how many can there be?


keith

It's probably in Austin.

worth1 wrote: ↑Mon Jan 20, 2025 12:43 pm

rxkeith wrote: ↑Mon Jan 20, 2025 12:40 pm no skate boarding dogs that are drinking and smoking?

how many can there be?


keith

It's probably in Austin.

rxkeith wrote: ↑Mon Jan 20, 2025 12:40 pm no skate boarding dogs that are drinking and smoking?

how many can there be?


keith

In a perfect world...NONE!

The Gotch

The Gotch